Monday, February 20, 2012

流浪者之歌 2 : 親愛的,我迷失了...

Inspired by Siddhartha Hermann Hesse:

Dive in the Blues....
While I was searching for a noble Truth, I found the teacher and sutra could not teach me anything any more. I then, turned into myself, my own character, that I wanted to learn form my Self. Not that teacher and sutra were not sufficient, yet they portrayed the true nature of the universe. I myself could not understand  the connotation insight the foremost meaning.

As soon as I refleced within, I discoverd I was so alient to my self-- I was afraid of myself, I did not like myself, I wished to destroy myself, I was fleeting from myself, to a fantasy, to an innermost nucleus of all things, an Absolute. I was lost, lost in the forest of seeking, alienating from the reality.

I wish I can become like Siddhartha, that everything  is suddently existing clearly to him:  he, who was in fact like one who had awakened or was newly born, must begin his life completly afresh!

At this moment, I felt I do not belong to any keen, any class, any organization;  I do not belong to my parents, to my lover, to any sharing of smiliar interests. I, for the first time, feel so alone.

No, I do not seek for realtiy, or the other shore, as this will not lead to true awakening, nor ultimate happiness. The world appear to me so simple, beautiful, and childlike as I begin my journey to wonder in the universe.

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